It’s that time of year where the pressure is on to have an “attitude of gratitude.” Well let me tell you…. I’m having a bad-itude. 2020 has left me feeling a little less than thankful today. Don’t get me wrong, I’ve flourished in many ways this year, and I have enjoyed many of the changes. But to be real these past few days have sucked.
For a number of reasons, we’ve decided to stay home for Thanksgiving. That means it’s just the five of us feasting on a 23lb turkey and all the trimmings. This is a total shift from our normal Thanksgiving day routine. First, we attend Thanksgiving #1 with the inlaws and fam (15 people) for lunch, stuffing our faces, and watching the cousins play happily together. Around 5pm we roll (literally) into Thanksgiving #2 at the family farm (my parents house) with about 50 people. Yes, 50! It’s loud, it’s crazy, there are about 30 pies (my favorite part!), and a smorgasbord of food. On top of that there are so many aunts, uncles, cousins, and friends that you are laughing and talking over each other until the end of the night. Everyone is squeezed in like sardines, you’re committed to your seat, and you better pray to Jesus that you don’t have to go to the bathroom. I’ve never missed one and I’m a little teary to think about it. Granted, they all won’t be there this year but we are still missing out on making some new memories.
I think it’s the loss of this routine and the things we take for granted that has gotten me down and not feeling so grateful. I’ve been praying for a few days that I would have a change of heart. I don’t enjoy this mood I’m in but I feel a bit stuck. I needed a change in attitude. As I went into my quiet time this morning, I prayed for just that. I prayed to have joy today and to have a change in attitude.
I began reading Psalm 43 and found myself relating to David so much in his current spiritual battle. He is depressed. Things keep going wrong, he’s upset, and the only thing he knows to do is cry out to God looking for strength and joy. This is me. I know that God is my only source of hope, the only one that can shift my attitude around. I needed this, maybe you need this too. A shift in perspective.
If you too are feeling a little less grateful today, maybe pause and talk to God. Tell him your feelings. Tell him you’re mad. That you’re angry about COVID ruining your plans. He’s there listening. Just ask him to guide you in wisdom and strength, just as David cried out to God. Then offer your praises, your gratitude for God being who he is. God is our strength, our comfort, our protector, and above all else God is sovereign. He knows exactly what is going on. Although it seems like something he could easily change, remember his ways are higher than ours and we can be grateful for the many things he’s doing that we cannot yet see.
I pray you have a safe and joyful Thanksgiving, whatever your plans may be. For me…I will attempt to make new memories, not yell at my kids or my husband, but slow down and be grateful for the many blessings we do have, and not dwell on the ones I’m missing out on.
